PhotoCredit: Andrzej Rabiegahi
I was raised on a bizarre cocktail of The Wombles (a rather curious British show), The Muppets (I truly hope you are familiar) and The Beatles (who need no introduction).
I had a nostalgic moment remembering eight year old me sneaking into the "good room" to play my Wombles, Muppets and Beatles records. A nostalgic moment that was inspired by this beautiful rendition of the Beatle's Blackbird by Emma Stevens. It's 2.36 minutes. Listen, Breathe, Smile.
Emma's song is a celebration of indigenous language. A creative solution to bringing awareness to the fragility of the many dying languages around the world. In this video I see the power to educate through beauty, creativity and music. I saw the same in my childhood influences.
The Wombles and The Muppets taught me to be creative, inclusive and slightly odd. To come at problems from a unique perspective. My mantra's "Big, Brave, Bold" and "embrace your weirdness" were clearly influenced by the insanity of these shows.
The Beatles taught me something different. I was attracted to songs like Norwegian Wood, In My Life and Blackbird. Rubber Soul was my jam. They taught me about the importance of the quiet moments. The thoughtful moments.
We need the quiet moments. The quiet moments fuel the mad and creative moments. The quiet moments create a pause, suspending our habitual reaction and allowing something new to potentially come through.
As the world starts to see the possibility of re-opening, we run the risk of racing back to the hyperventilation that was our prior life. Allowing all the busy-ness back in. Resist that reflex. Keep some of the quiet that the pandemic gifted us. Find space to be creative. Find time to be inspired. Where is that time in your week? Where is that time in your day?
NO DICE
PhotoCredit: RearViewMirror
I am often asked in interviews what my biggest failures have been. I struggle with that question. My narrative is 'I always figure my way through the bad stuff.' That and 'I’m perfect and I don’t make mistakes.' #self-identity. #delusional.
There has certainly been a lot of making it work off the back of questionable decision-making. Or at least decision making that was based on rather shabby logic. I'd like to think I am getting smarter or wiser as the years progress, but I know at the very least I can get more informed!
Enter mental models.
It started with this podcast. To be fair it actually started with my interest in the OODA loop and the work of military strategist John Boyd, which is also referenced in this podcast. The idea is that the more frameworks we use to assess a problem, the more creative we can be with the solution. We like creative solutions, they are hard to predict and thus a competitive advantage. So my new personal learning ambition is to strengthen my suite of mental models. Yes, you may consider that an invitation to send me smarty-pants articles on frameworks for thinking.
Essentially, mental models are just different ways that you think about making a decision or solving a problem. A simple example is the “time model." You assess requests based on whether you believe you have time to spare. The "can I fit this in my schedule" mental model. You may have time but that doesn't mean the request is a good use of your time. You conversely may not have time but the better decision is to juggle your commitments because the request will lead to more opportunities for you. Mental models can be simple like the time example or complex or even guiding philosophies. The main point is to create conscious frameworks for making decisions.
The podcast interviews Shane Parrish (speaking of smarty-pants). In this article Parrish details how to create a decision journal. Like we need another journal in our life. We don’t...but we do. Parrish notes: "our minds revise history to preserve our view of ourselves. The story that we tell ourselves conflates the cause and effect of a decision we made and the actual outcome."
Sorry to burst that hindsight bubble. So, yeah, you do need another journal as it turns out.
I would use evernote or a similar digital tool. Parrish suggests this must be hand-written but I’m going to disagree, I think the key thing is an honest record of your assessment at the time. Start small. Make a note of a decision and write down what model(s) you are using to make that decision. And obviously what the decision is. Then push yourself to think of one other framework you could assess that decision through. Just give it a try with the aim of slowly building your practice over time.
The journalling idea is cool. It's possibly a little too organized even for me, though I must admit I do like the idea of keeping track of my decision making. Over time it would build up to be quite an incredible treasure trove of personal insights. Delusion begone!
MEETING OF THE MINDS
PhotoCredit: DeadOrAlive?
PhotoCredit: DeadOrAlive?
I was trolling around the internet this weekend (the inquisitive kinda trolling - not the "I have no friends" kinda trolling) and stumbled over this photo.
So many hero's in one place. How had I never seen this before? Especially seeing Marie Curie represent with all the blokes. Epic.
This was the 1927 Solvay Conference. #timetravelgoals. The first major meeting of the minds on the then new theory of quantum physics. I swoon. Apparently, Einstein remarked “God does not play dice” in response to Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle. To which Bohr retorts: “Einstein, stop telling God what to do”. DYING.
Everything about this photo makes me happy. Most especially seeing Marie Curie front and center. Curie is the only woman honored with two Nobel Prizes in distinct scientific categories. Note that of the 29 attendees at the conference, 17 of them won Nobel Prizes. How many of them won prizes in two disciplines? Only Curie. Hence my crush.
From a squiggly perspective this historic moment is cool through more than "just" the quantum looking-glass. Solvay 1927 is the marker in time for when the scientific community moved on from the strict rules-based approach championed by the scientific realists. The instrumentalists, proponents of an outcomes and evidence based approach, won out over Einstein's linear-leanings.
You can see a little footage from the conference in this two minute youtube. Beyond awesome but, really, it's the photo that says everything to me.
LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION
PhotoCredit: Morning
I will readily admit I don’t always follow my own advice. I have a strong rebellious streak and will often wreck havoc on myself purely for the fun of breaking a few rules. I could never let someone else down. Letting myself down? In a hot minute. Three glasses of wine too many on a school night? Fun! Carbs, bring them on! Skipping yoga class, genius idea. Neglecting my own work in favor of helping others, heck yes.
Cut to feeling like shit and being overwhelmingly behind.
Thankfully, I am mostly wise enough to not let all my systems fail me. Mostly. Thankfully I am also slowly learning that feeling good is way more fun than being a rebel. Slowly!
My recent discovery is a bit of a game-changer. After being plagued with a severe headache for two days I realized I had to drastically shift my screen time and light exposure. I listened to a few podcasts on topic (Dave Asprey, Dr Mercola and Rich Roll are my standard nerdy go-to’s) and decided to test a few things.
It’s been life altering. This is what I have been experimenting with:
Natural (blue) light exposure first thing in the morning. Very easily achieved by taking the dog for a quick early walk and just soaking up the morning light. Winston and I are both enjoying this;
Open windows during the day. Especially in the morning when the air is cool. I am not sure what this does to the light filtering (clearly something) but the combo-act of cool air and unfiltered light is a winning combination. Such an easy thing to incorporate in your morning;
Constant breaks from the screen in the form of gazing at the sky and into the distance. This is so important for eye strength and fatigue-prevention. You can also pretend you are thinking deep philosophical thoughts when you are really just trying to decide what you should have for lunch;
When you can, shut the screen. We don’t have to be on zoom for every call; and
My personal favorite is spending the hour before I go to sleep listening to a Tara Brach podcast and shutting off all lights. Honestly, I wake up feeling about 60% better when I have done this. Listen to whatever takes your fancy but find something that is calming (and that doesn’t get your mind running a million miles an hour).
I did some research and ultimately decided against the various light blocking glasses. I don’t love wearing glasses as it is and I wanted to see what I could impact without buying another gadget. Switching to Dark Mode on your screens is likely a better place to start. I have been on and off with this over the years because the tech isn’t perfect, but it’s a great addition when you can’t avoid a lot of screen time. Check these resources to change your phone and your computer. Just search “dark mode” and your device type if you are not a mac-junkie like me.
My absolute game changing favorite is the hour of no-lights pre bed. I know, I am telling you to cut the pre-sleep binge-watching. I am the WORST person. You’d like me a lot more if I said potato chips+wine+a few episodes of ‘Nailed It’ was conducive to a great night’s sleep. But sadly, it’s not. I tested that theory last night. No bueno people. No bueno!
SUPER FREAK
PhotoCredit: OnlyOne
Have you encountered Li Ziqi yet? Or all one word, liziqi, as she is known on the interwebs. She’s my new internet-bestie. Move over Alexa Chung (though you know I can’t quit you). Make way for this ultra-feminine, farmer meets you-tuber, alcohol maker, rose-water distiller, bamboo-hacking, gardener-extraordinaire, chef and creator of utter magic.
If there is a shining example for embracing your uniqueness, Liziqi is it. Conforming is boring. The power move is bringing all your talents and capabilities to what you are doing.
Please watch one of her videos. They are oddly inspiring, motivating and calming all in one.
We don’t always know how our bizarre combination of skills and interests might support our greatness. That doesn’t mean we hide any of them in the closet. Embrace who you are - every ounce of weirdness you’ve got.
Shine bright baby, the world needs your magnificence. Be the Biggest, Bravest, Boldest version of yourself that you can be.
PLANE TIME
PhotoCredit: BigJetPlane
I miss travel. I know, cry me a river. It’s a confession that smacks of privilege. Someone book me on the Oprah show stat. I sure do hope you got that joke, I so just cracked myself up.
What I actually miss isn’t the travel bit. Getting to my destination is usually a harried cocktail of meetings, too many dinners, frantic catch-ups, fractured sleep and probably too much wine. I don't miss any of that. Other than the seeing-people part.
What I miss is the ritual. I miss packing my bag, choosing my clothes for 10 days, downloading a few shows and playlists and getting hyper-organized for the ensuing mayhem. I miss the drive to the airport where I completely relax in the satisfaction of on-top-of-it-ness.
The drive across LA is like a mini-portal between my two worlds. No one can find me, or so it feels. As I shift from LA-Claudia to NZ-Claudia, I disappear from view for 24 hours. I walk through the airport and hide in a corner of the lounge. I get on the plane and bask in the 12 hours I have all to myself. Sheer Bliss. Accountable to no one.
That’s what I miss the most. My plane-time. I catch up, read what I want, watch what I want, don’t have to think about anything.
I decided a couple of weeks ago that I was going to gift this back to myself. Every six weeks I plan to disappear. Poof, she’s gone. I did it last week and it was a liberation. I blocked my calendar for 24 hours, organized my food for the day, turned all my devices to DoNotDisturb and took a ride in an imaginary jet plane.
It was liberating. Please try it. Every six weeks, give yourself a break. I’m calling it an Inspire Day. Catch up on all those articles you haven’t found time to read, listen to a few podcasts, nap at unconventional times, and get your head (and heart) out of the rinse and repeat of the zoom-fatigue-ladden world we wandered into over the last 12 months.
Plane Time. DO IT.
GOT TASTE
PhotoCredit: Deliciousness
It’s been a year, give or take, since our lives were dramatically changed. We were given the ultimate time-out. Seemingly confined to our bedrooms, to think about what we had done.
For most of us, even if we had a “good pandemic”, it’s been hard. On some level. Or all the levels. While nature seemed reborn, humans suffered. It was hard not to feel that. We have all worn ourselves a little think.
There is a lot of recovery we need to do. It’s personal and it’s collective. It’s emotional and it’s fiscal. It’s complex but I also think it’s simple.
I have recently discovered the healing power of classical music. Evidently I do have some music taste. I randomly searched Spotify and found this playlist. I cannot recommend it highly enough. It’s very approachable. It’s deeply restorative. It’s like one of those epic Yin Yoga classes, but for your ears.
Then I found out about online concerts. I’m an idiot. Of course these were happening. I can’t say I am much for choral music but my music people tell me that Voces8 is some of the top stuff. It’s getting played pretty loudly at the moment. It seems to re-energize the room, if that’s a thing. Like all the bad energy scampers in the presence of such angelic voices.
When I tripped over this remarkable video it was clear. A Concerto is a Conversation. It’s 13 minutes of sublime perfection. Do yourself a favor and watch it. It’s not so much classical music as the story of how a composer came to be. Through the eyes of his grandfather. If it was food it would be umami.
Music is food for the soul. We need to feast. It's calorie-free indulgence. Eat up.
THE THREE V'S
PhotoCredit: Veges
When I first started public speaking I learnt that the audience’s perception of a speaker was largely driven by the energy of the speaker. Content was less important than delivery. This information helped me to freak out a little less about what I was saying and focus on enjoying myself. If I was having a good time, odds on my audience was too.
Fast forward to present day, speaking is an online game. It’s been a huge shift for us all to find ourselves navigating a world of online everything: investor calls, board calls, strategy days and mentor sessions. The same rules apply; presence is key. Being "present" in an online setting sounds like an oxymoron: how do you do this well in a virtual setting?
There are some good articles floating around but this podcast from a16z is very instructive. Matt Abrahams, a Stanford School of Business communications lecturer, speaks with Andreessen Horowitz’s Editor in Chief Sonal Chokshi. These are two people who know their craft.
It’s long. Please know that I don’t recommend any long content unless it’s excellent.
Anyone wanting to develop their communications skills can learn from this. At minute 28.35 they switch from the broader topic of moderating panels (which might not be for everyone) to the art of communicating virtually. If you are strapped for time start listening from that point on. They explore the three V’s of presence: visual, vocal and verbal. How you appear visually, how to moderate your vocals for interest and stamina, and the importance of being verbally articulate (specifically removing what they call verbal graffiti; the "um’s", "ah’s", "like’s" and frankly anything needlessly repeated).
I will leave you to listen as there is no way I can succinctly capture the richness of this content. However, I will emphasize one point they make which is that there is NO question we are in an “unprecedented age of online communication and collaboration." It is critical we all develop these skills and learn to not just survive this massive online shift but to thrive in this new way of working. It delivers benefits just as much as it delivers fatigue.
INBOX ANXIETY
PhotoCredit: Styles
Lifetimes ago, when I was a baby lawyer, I developed a deep anxiety of the phone ringing. It was pavlovian, of sorts. The phone ringing sent me in a spiral of worry as it inevitably meant more work. As a baby lawyer you are never short on work. I never felt on top of it all and the phone ringing signaled the problem was about to get worse.
Later in life the stress response didn’t serve me at all. Drastic action was required. I set my ringtone to PSY’s Gangnam Style which proceeded to make me laugh every time the phone rang. Now it’s our inboxes that cause unhelpful (but justified) anxiety. Ready for a change? Here is my step-by-step guide to Gangham Style your inbox.
Step One: Turn off all notifications, alerts, alarms, banners, home screens and any other form of email announcements. A new email does not warrant a trumpet flourish. Notifications are not your friend - they interrupt your focus and cause switching fatigue.
Step Two: Highlight all of your email in your inbox and mark UNREAD. Get rid of that nasty ticker telling you that you have 103,984,567 unread emails. You will never get to them, stop kidding yourself.
Step Three: Create an email folder “OLD” and move all email from your inbox into that folder. They are all still there for you. You are not deleting them. Stop telling me you can’t possibly do that. DO IT.
Step Four: Create two subfolders for your inbox: URGENT and IMPORTANT. From now on, any email that needs a response today goes into your URGENT folder. Anything else goes into IMPORTANT.
**You can go a level deep on this if you want to and create two additional subfolders: NOT URGENT and FUN. Anything you don’t really have to respond to can go into NOT URGENT (I call it the “no one will die if I don’t reply to this email” folder) and anything you want to read or peruse later goes into FUN.**
Step Five: Look at your URGENT emails and assess how much time you need today for those items and put that time on your calendar immediately. I like to have about 90 minutes in the middle of my morning to knock out those emails and do a quick sort of any new email.
Step Six: Set two calendar appointments daily: one for the morning to sort your inbox and one for the evening to clear through some of the IMPORTANT emails and likely sort through your inbox again. I like 30 minutes first thing in the day so I can see what in waiting for me and I like about 60-90 minutes in the evening which I often use as reading/thinking time if I don’t have a heap of pressing matters.
Step Seven: Set an amount of time every two weeks to have an email blast. This is optional. You can use this time to quietly sort through your OLD folder if you really want to (I wouldn’t). It’s great time just to weed through all your folders and delete (or move to the OLD folder) to keep things really streamlined.
BONUS#1: Unsubscribe to any email lists that are weighing you down, annoying you, too frequent or part of your past.
BONUS#2: Email doesn't have to suck. I like to play a great album or playlist as I clear email. It means I also get time in my day to listen to new music. A glass of wine helps in the evening as does a hot chocolate. Figure out how to make it fun.
TIME IS ON OUR SIDE
PhotoCredit: Busted?
Next Monday will be the first day of February. WTF! While 2020 felt like it would never end, 2021 has some sort of lightning speed quality. My inner-overachiever is hyperventilating at the notion I have almost lost 1/12th of the year. Am I on track? Are you on track?
The next thought I have is, do I even care? 2020 was the year of “anything could happen”, and did happen. We learnt that anything and everything could fall apart at any minute. Let us never forget that at one point we couldn’t even rely on being able to buy toilet paper. 2020 was a not-so-subtle teacher delivering a repeated lesson of the need for agility and flexibility.
This is a great lesson. As one of my yoga teachers says “right now it’s like this, may I be at ease”. I said that quite a bit last year.
So, we can’t blame ourselves for approaching 2021 with a little hesitation. For having a heavy dose of “fu*ks given, zero” about everything. My 'give a damn' is a little bit busted, to quote a country song I once heard.
Busted but not beyond repair. We have one week left in January. Let’s make it count. In fact, it’s a great thing that there is one week. Seven days is so doable.
So, here is my question for you. Can you tell me what the most important thing for you is in 2021? What is your biggest goal? The “O” in your OKR? If you get to the end of 2021 with only one thing done, what is that one thing?
Now tell me, what can you do for one week against that goal? I am committing to my breath-work practice. I can do that every day for a week, no problem. What can you commit to? It’s never too late to start. And it’s still January. We’ve got heaps of time.
SLEEPING DOGS
PhotoCredit: GoodBoy
Winston is almost one. Still cute. Still a puppy. Just a mere 72 pounds of cute puppy. He’s in that awkward phase where he’s half big-boy and half-baby. He knows the rules but he doesn’t always feel he wants to follow them. When he wakes up from his naps he is just the most adorable cuddle-buddy on the planet. Full sweetness. When he needs a nap, not-so-much. Full monster. He doesn’t know he needs to rest, so he acts out. And then some.
I have a habit of going to bed at about 8.30PM and reading. I get off my screens, make a herbal tea, and do something I hope is sleep-inducing and soul-enhancing. Lately, I have been a little off my schedule and as a result we end up with a terror of a rampaging honey-badger. I hadn’t realized that my wind-down was his wind-down. He is a little barometer of whether I am doing the right things. His teeth around my wrist tend to indicate that I am not.
We don’t all have such a clear indicator of when we need rest. Rest, not in the conventional sense but rest as a reset and a recharge. Taking him for walks each day has become my thinking time. Largely because if I am talking or listening to a podcast he notices my distraction and puppy-mayhem ensues. I have now come to enjoy his little reminders that I need to shift gears.
This ideas.ted article talks about needing seven types of rest. I appreciate the dimension the article gives to the notion of rest. We tend to bucket rest under the sleep umbrella and we are doing ourselves a disservice. Rest is time off screens, time outdoors, time reflecting, time in quiet, time in solitude, time in relationship. Rest is an investment in our performance. It is not a cop-out. It's a power-up.
One of my favorite forms of rest is active rest. The ideas.ted article does a good job of pointing to this. If I am doing the dishes, I focus on my breath and make it a restful activity. My rest-enhancing pro tip is to look out the window - or at least into the edge of your room - to rest your eyes (and therefore brain) on calls. I have noticed many people in smaller rooms on video calls and I know they are in that space for prolonged periods of time. If that is you, put something in the far corner of your room and practice looking at that periodically. A plant is awesome, a small water feature would be amazing and a mood board would also be brilliant.
Finally, rest is personal. Take the ideas.ted article and make it yours. Think about how you can incorporate moments in your day that bring you energy. Rest is so much more than putting your feet up. Rest is so much more than sleep. Rest doesn’t slow you down, it makes you go faster in the right direction. Rest is fuel for the fire of your squiggly ambitions. It will give you perspective and it will make you smarter, happier and clearer about how to win.
BIG MAC DREAMIN'
PhotoCredit: Breakfast
When I’m talking with someone who is about to travel to New Zealand, I always ask them what they plan to eat first. New Zealand does food well: from the classics of fish and chips and meat pies at one end of the spectrum to the best oysters and lamb in the world at the other end. And everything in between. It’s always a question that reveals a lot about the other person and inevitably comes with a story. It’s not just about the lamb, it’s the way your mother makes it. It’s not just about the fish and chips, it’s the special place you go out of your way to get them from.
Obviously I don’t get to ask this question with much frequency any more. However I did get to ask it before the holidays and I was given an answer I had never heard before. “A Big Mac” was the answer.
I immediately said, “I’m not judging, but why a Big Mac”? I was SO judging. My little health-meets-culinary-snob kicked in as I pondered what to make of this answer. He said, “Big Mac’s taste different at home.” And I was instantly transported back in time to eating a Big Mac sometime in my past and how delicious it really was. I got it. Big Mac’s are not worth considering in the US but #downunder, there is something indulgent and escapist about them.
I love asking questions like this that help me uncover hidden gems of personality in people. Seemingly light questions that have hidden depth. Questions that make people think from a place of heart and soul rather than academically. Instinctively, not intellectually.
Moving questions from our brain to our heart is a power move. It can reveal hidden information. One of my recent favorites is the question “what is your McDonald’s?” Not a culinary or calorie question but a question about competition. Who is your real competitor? Who, or what, is competing with you for your audience’s time, attention or money?
I have coupled this with “who is the person, past or present, that you most want to be in the world?” to help me think about my mission and vision. An inquiry I always make academic but which really demands a soul perspective.
Thinking about goals and vision can be really hard and esoteric. Grounding the question in who your hero is and what is competing with that aspiration breathes life and soul into the inquiry. Whether it’s personally or professionally, or both. As you filter through people that you most want to emulate, you get clear about what you really care about and need to prioritize. I found myself questioning the business models, ethics and the depth and substance of the work of the people I admired. It helped me get clear on what I care about and how I want to participate in and contribute to the world.
The next step is then simple, sort of. What is the one action you can take today to move you forward? Big steps are great but the small steps are often more powerful and much more sustainable. If you ask yourself this everyday, you will start to move yourself forward.
A DECISION A DAY
PhotoCredit: Doctor's Orders
About three weeks ago I cancelled my trip to New Zealand. It was a business trip. I tend to go out five times a year. I haven’t been there for over a year, haven’t seen my boards or companies in a year, haven’t eaten Bluff oysters in a year. I know!
It wasn’t Bluff oyster season so I was out of luck there anyway. Missing my meetings though, and feeling like I was letting all my teams down, that was a bitter pill to swallow. I made the call because it felt like too great of a risk to travel with the new strains lurking about. I needed to be a good leader. This seemed like the intelligent decision. I have second guessed myself for every day since I cancelled. Until yesterday.
Yesterday, NZ went into lockdown. Yesterday would have been my first board meeting. We cancelled that meeting and have shortened all the other meetings this week. They will all be online. I am not missing a thing. Not Bluff oysters and not my work obligations.
Sometimes big decisions like this go in our favor. Those are the great moments; the genius moments. We get a little smug. We tell a few people in full humble-brag style. Or, if you are like me, we sit on the couch staring at our phones in utter disbelief we called it THAT well.
Then there are the other decisions we make. Most of which we forget or try to forget. The ones where we don’t call it as well. We sell a stock and the price races upwards the next day. We don’t go to a party and we find out that Leo DiCaprio turned up. We decide we need another glass of wine when we have early meetings the next day…
We make good decisions and we make bad decisions. Many outcomes are completely out of our control and we end up right by chance. And wrong by chance. What is important to me is how I make decisions and how I can improve my decision making.
These are my reflections:
The decision I made was instigated by a very clever, sometimes alarmist, friend. I don’t always reach the same conclusions as him but I always listen intently to his rationale.
On the flip side, I didn’t start canvassing a million other people’s opinion. I thought that would just start making the issue muddy. I fact checked with a couple of friends “in the know” and then did my own assessment.
I read a lot and very broadly. I had a more informed view on this matter because of this.
I made my decision through the lens of probability first. I am a VERY intuitive person, I believe deeply in the intuitive process but, I don’t make decisions on intuition if I can make the decision with logic.
I asked myself what the worst-case outcome of each scenario was. The worst case of going would have been infecting my fellow board directors. I was not prepared to take that risk.
My biggest reflection is that my decision was right regardless of what happened in New Zealand. On the available information, I made a tough call and I made it as well as I could. Don’t be afraid to make the hard calls. Make them. Then back yourself.
SLEEPY START
PhotoCredit: FullSloth
I ended 2020 like a champion. My goal was to end the year the way I intended to start the next. It wasn’t hard. I mean, who didn’t want to celebrate the end of the weirdest year ever? So I was in rockstar form as of December 31 but, come Jan 1st, my vibe was more “lazy morning” than “productive mania”.
So last week I just kinda lazed around. I baked some epic meatballs, thought about doing yoga (yeah it was that bad that yoga didn’t even appeal), likely over-walked the puppy and had some fabulous sleep-in’s.
I guess a little bit like I was on vacation. It’s just that it doesn’t feel all that vacation-y when you are sitting at home with little else to do but think about Marie Kondo-ing your cupboards for the 9th time.
There is a lot to be said for rest. It’s undeniably key to recovery and we all need a lot more of it than we allow ourselves. Not just sleep but cozy laziness. Brain-rebooting, soul-invigorating, perspective-enhancing rest. It’s perfect for a sunny beach day and equally perfect for a chilly home day. It’s always a good day for a long savasana.
This week I feel incredible, invincible. I feel clear, I feel determined and I feel steady. My week of rest was an investment and the dividends are already flowing.
This year is going to likely be another long one. We need to be rested to go the distance. Make slothfulness part of your habits for 2021. Add it to your over-achieving ambitions for the year.
THE TRICKLE
PhotoCredit: Slow Leak
It’s the first week of the year and notions of rebirth flicker. How will I be this year? Who will I be this year? We resolve and commit (and cheat just a little) and imagine the whole new us that we possibly could be. Glorious plans. Glorious ambitions. Glorious imagining of anything that might improve on the mess of last year.
Then the world emerges from it’s vacation-coma and the trickle begins. From the deep slumber of rest, recovery, and possible reverie. Like bulbs sprouting in spring, our inbox starts to show signs of life. The work year has begun.
We read and we work out and we do all the things we told ourselves we would do. Then the trickle. We make exceptions. Well, just this one here and that one there. We slowly undo the good. We unwind the resolve. We are creatures and we have habits apparently. Tomorrow I will...today it can wait.
As we stick to new rules and form new habits, it can feel a little inconsequential. Saying no feels like a punishment and rather dull. Our inner rebel is screaming for us to go back to the old fun we used to have.
Greatness is achieved in the moments that we could but we don’t. Moments we almost, but we stop ourselves. They don’t appear to be moments of importance. Victories against the trickle are quiet, non-celebratory, and a little bit boring.
Old habits will suddenly flood as the volume is turned up on the year. This first week is the critical time to manage the trickle. Before it manages you.
GRADUATE
PhotoCredit: GraduationPanda
The first time I did yoga was at a community centre in my hometown in Wellington, NZ. There wasn't a lot of yoga around. In fact, I think they called the class "calisthenics". It was a long time ago.
I remember doing tree pose for the first time. I remember wondering how the heck anyone was possibly holding this peculiar pose. I remember wondering, really, why I was even bothering to try! Stupid Pose. Of course, tree is now one of those poses I look to as a barometer of how I am doing on a given day. There are days I hold that pose like a mighty oak. There are days I wobble around like a spritely aspen. There are days I am felled, repeatedly, like I am a beginner once more.
In a conversation yesterday, I likened 2020 to doing tree pose on a paddle-board. This year was an advanced class, a master class, in finding balance, ease and frankly focus. Every time we thought we had it, the wind turned or the waves got bigger or some damn idiot in their speedboat set a wake heading in our direction. I will let your imagination run wild as to who that idiot might be.
It was the year of everything being hard, most especially the stuff we thought we knew how to do. School, food, groceries, marriage, cohabitation, parenting, being a friend, being an employee, and - critically - being OK!
A lot of us experienced a lot of not being ok. Even if it was a decent year for us, it didn’t feel all that decent. It was a bit messy. But we made it through. We stumbled to the almost finish line. While it didn’t ever feel like we had it together, here we are with 10 days left in the year and we are mostly in one piece.
I’m so proud of us. I really hope you can reflect on the year and see what you have achieved. As you wobbled and fell, and kept getting up again and again, and you kept trying. Being a beginner is hard work. Especially when you didn’t choose the course of study. When it was imposed on you. And when you had much better plans for the year.
Consider this a graduation. Are you seeing the gains? If you haven’t already, sit down and write a list of all the things you've conquered. Sourdough, cutting your bangs, learning patience, mastering-ish technology, adaptability in spades, how to sit still, how to take breaks from sitting still, how not to F your back from all the sitting still...the list goes on and on.
Take a moment. Look at the good. Look at what you have learnt. Tree pose is hard just as life is hard. 2020 made every day a master class. You just completed advanced life-101. GO YOU! See your gains: graduate, commemorate and celebrate. I’m grading us all an A++.
THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF CRAZY
PhotoCredit: As A Hatter
The options at this time of year are pretty limited. Either you go a little insane with all the moving pieces that the end of the year requires OR you drink just enough to quiet the madness. Or maybe over-eat. Or maybe zone-out binge-watching as you wrangle holiday lights, gift wrapping, menu planning and last minute shopping.
Or all of the above.
It’s easy, after the year we have had, to create out-sized-anxiety-over-everything. This has always been a busy time of year and we are hurtling at it in a very depleted and fraught state. World-over we are exhausted and really don’t have the reserves we need for the mania that is the “silly-season”.
Meanwhile, I am avoiding all of my usual tune-out mechanisms which is leaving me with the “go a little insane” option. My mind has taken over. Throughout the day the computer screen that is my brain sends me not-so-useful notifications. Buy this, do that, worry about this, think about that. It’s incessant and endless and fundamentally unhelpful.
The real options are to either let this overload and overwhelm us OR see it for what it is. A bunch of silly activity that really is meaningless in the broader scheme of things. Put in other words: decide what you need to worry about and forget about the rest.This isn’t just now advice, it’s life advice.
2020 has sucked but it’s also been a great teacher. I’m working on being a great student. Working on not letting the little things become big things. Working on gratitude for all the great things I have in my life. Working on ensuring that all voices are heard and that all people are represented. Working on being a great human.
Even when our options are limited, or non-optimal, we always have a choice. When we stop seeing our capacity to choose we give in to the madness.
So take stock. How are you doing? Truly, how are you doing? Ask yourself and be honest. And also ask yourself, what could I do right now to be just a little less crazy? Just a little less...just the right amount of crazy.
MAD DASH
PhotoCredit: Vroom
With holiday parties and vacation planning officially off the list in Los Angeles, what’s a girl to do? It’s not that the actual holidays got cancelled, just everything else that goes along with them. Husband and I started planning and got no further than green beans and roast potatoes. No prizes for guessing that this is a keto household!
After an initial “bake, eat, drink” response to the pandemic, our household evolved into yoga-dedication, carb-elimination and nutrition-obsession. A momentary lapse in judgment over Thanksgiving backfired into a three-day hangover. Consequently we are a little hesitant about any of the usual vices. I never imagined I would be scared of croissants, apple pie or wine.
The tree went up on Friday. Twinkly lights are so festive but, I realize, that’s all I’ve got. I’m even out of gift ideas after a year of Covid-induced-panic-boredom shopping.
So I’m left with a mild anxiety. How do I make this moment count? How do I celebrate?
My usual mad dash to the finish-line has become a soggy-whimper. No food to prepare, vacation to plan, wine to pair or gifts to purchase. No partridge. No pear tree.
There is a lost-ness that creeps in quietly and then loudly. Who am I without the gifts under the tree? Who am I without a glass of champagne to celebrate? Who am I without a party to go to, a dinner to attend or a date night in a cute dress?
There is a great sense of emptiness. Of loss. Such is the way of change. While absence and possibility exist in the same moment, the absence is louder. It's palpable.
In the face of change we typically cling to what we know. What we had. We resist the evolution. This year has imposed so much on us. Ready or not, here it came. Some change was valid but, over the holidays, it just feels like deprivation.
I recognize my resistance. I see that I am clinging.
It’s ok to feel the loss, to feel the absence. I give myself permission and I give you permission. I also encourage you, as I am encouraging myself, to look for the new. Look for the opportunities. Maybe in this moment of deprivation you will begin a new tradition? As forced on you as it might be.
I am resolute that I will do the work. I will experiment. I can find the new. And I can also tell you one thing for sure. I refuse to have a tree with a naked bottom. That's one thing that doesn't need to change. Time for one last online-shopping push.
MARKERS AND MOMENTS
PhotoCredit: Celebrate
Emerging from a lockdown-ish Thanksgiving that felt a lot more about online sales than it did turkey, I feel confused about what to expect from the rest of the year. Maybe it’s just me. How is it possible to feel fatigue after doing very little over the last four days? How is it possible to feel fatigue when I’m restless for adventure?
We progress through another day, week, month of living with COVID-19. We progress through another day, week, month of changes to the lockdown rules. We progress through another day, week, month of feeling that our lives are indefinitely on hold. It occurs to me that this feeling is not fatigue. It’s disorientation.
Disorientation is, according to my brief poke around google, a mental disorder. “A wide range of conditions that affect mood, thinking and behavior.” Sound familiar? In psychosis form it is “characterized by a disconnection from reality.”
We are lost in a fog of restriction and limitation. Disconnected from reality because our reality exists on shifting sands. Birthdays and holidays and vacations and weekends have lost their meaning. These markers and moments of time that used to ground our experience now create more chaos and confusion.
Spatial disorientation is what they call this when pilots lose their sense of what is up and what is down. This is because our human senses are designed to navigate in a “terrestrial” environment. Our senses betray us when the environment changes.
When flying in these circumstances, the instruction is to trust your instruments. Apparently this is inherently difficult because your human brain is 100% positive it is correct. Many plane and, especially, helicopter crashes happen in these circumstances. Most are deadly.
So what instruments, I wonder, do we have at our disposal to guide us through our pandemic-induced environment change? I don’t have a complete answer to this yet and it's personal. It’s a great question to ask yourself. It might be routine. It might be regular calls with the great people in your life. It might be limiting calls with the not-so-great people in your life. It might be thinking about new goals in an altered world.
I have recently observed friends and family delighting in getting their houses dressed up for the holidays. I break out in a cold sweat thinking about putting up a tree with an inquisitive puppy on the prowl - but I think it needs to happen. Tradition, whether old or creating new ones, is extremely grounding. An added bonus is anything that will stimulate you creatively.
It’s easy to let things slip. It’s easy for it to be too hard to haul the decorations out of storage. To cook a full meal when it’s just one or two of you. To let your vacation time look a lot like your weekends (which already look a lot like your weekdays). Force the celebrations. Don’t let too much time go by as we idle in this low-gear world we find ourselves in. Life is not limitless. Make the moments count!
SHORT AND SWEET
PhotoCredit: Delicious
Last week I gave you a primer on OKR’s. That is, if you remember last week. The great blur of 2020. It’s officially a phenomenon.
This week I will offer a few tips and tricks to making OKR’s (Objectives and Key Results) work for you: whether personally or professionally. Or, for bonus points, both.
Most people that I have gone through the process with are immediately fooled by it’s apparent simplicity. It’s not as simple as it looks, though the output will look exceedingly obvious. OKR’s are the product of stripping back the busyness and complexity of your business. When you are done, there will be a few simple and radiant goals you know you MUST achieve. Rather than the fifty, minimum, things you are currently hyperventilating over achieving.
As Winston Churchill (probably) famously said "If I had more time I would have written you a shorter letter." Simplicity takes time. And thoughtfulness.
The most powerful way to determine your business OKR’s is to have your executive team involved in crafting them. For starters, this is an excellent team activity and will result in excellent alignment of focus. It will also allow you to bring the team onboard early to craft goals that eventually they will need to own. This is the right approach, just know it will take more time: for the team to grasp the concept and for you to collectively wrangle the vision. It’s worth it - it’s just a little maddening. So go into these sessions calmly, knowing it will not be a one-and-done exercise.
I advise that all exec’s read John Doerr’s book, Measure What Matters. I like having a session just on the book alone. Bookclub style. It will allow your team to get on the same page before you dive in.
If you are doing them personally, I suggest you start by writing out the things you want from your life. Then try to think of the 3 statements that best describe your ultimate state. Likely it’s not about fitting the skinny jeans, per se, and it’s more about feeling great in your body. As someone that struggles with inflammation this has been a learning for me. I might fit the jeans but I don’t always feel good in them. So this question forces you to think a little bigger about what you really want. The same advice applies to your business. It is likely not about the financial goal. We typically feel way more excited about market share, repeat customers and being seen as innovators in our domain. All those things will lead to profitability. Be careful with what you think you need to measure!
Other great pieces of advice are:
OKR’s, once agreed, become a social contract. I love this observation. Social contract across a team and also a contract with yourself. The 30 day personal reviews of OKR’s and the 90 day group reviews add a huge power up to this. Delivering transparency and also - more important to me - calibration as you learn what is driving you to your objectives and what is not!
OKR’s are NOT performance measures. OKR’s are stretch goals, moonshots. You are striving to get further than you think possible with OKR’s. This is how you will eventually get to market leadership. They critically rely on a level of “acceptable failure” and inherent risk. If this is how you determine bonus and incentive awards at the end of the year, you will bake conservatism into your organization. I could write a whole post on this, let me know if you want to know more.
One of my favorite pieces of feedback was from a team that assess their weekly tasks against whether their planned activities are in line with their OKR’s. This is genius. Half because it codifies your OKR goals through repetition but also because this follows ALL the rules around focus. Cal Newport would give this a thumbs up.
“Process is more important than Outcomes”. Also genius. The process will lead to the outcomes. This is smart, smart, smart. Very Atomic Habits!