PhotoCredit: SatDownBedsideHer
Last week my newsletter had a weird formatting issue. I saw it the minute I sent it out, but I didn't catch it when I was proofing my writing. 'Weird formatting issue' is not on my list of things to check before I hit send. Much like 'spider hidden in floral display' was not on the florist's checklist for the Queen's funeral yesterday.
Both issues will obviously not happen again. I will now check for random changes to formatting, and I suspect there will be the addition of a heavy dose of fly-spray to future televised funeral processions.
Both issues are also minor details. Details that are hard to catch and easy to over-engineer for. They are non-critical issues that would drive you mad trying to anticipate. And to re-enforce my point from last week, obsessing over these details would definitely delay shipping your work.
Recovery is the better focus. From a formatting issue perspective, I turned the issue into a blog. Sure, I was frustrated in the moment, but I had no way of fixing it once sent, so I just had to suck it up. I would advise the royal PR team to name the spider and create a social media persona for it.
Mistakes are inherent in any creative endeavor. Let them inform the process and be the source of inspiration not perspiration. In other words, don't sweat the small stuff. Next time you think you have f-d something up, ask yourself how you can have fun with it. How can your bug*...become a feature?
*Spiders are not bugs. But the joke is still funny...
DOCTORS ORDERS
PhotoCredit: GetComfy
Guess who finally succumbed to COVID. I managed to outrun it for 2.5 years, but then it caught me. Not badly, all things considered. My symptoms were not terrible: sense of taste and smell maintained throughout; brain-fog seems to have eluded me; and I was in pretty good spirits across the board. Which made it even harder to do what I knew I needed to do. REST.
I spent the first seven days somewhat laid flat with sheer exhaustion. My main symptom. Was it COVID or was it the aforementioned 2.5 years of trying to outrun it? 2.5 years of supporting companies and people trying to outrun potentially game-over consequences of it? 2.5 years of caution, precautions and anxiety dominating every nook and cranny of the collective psyche?
I am not on week three and I am still TAF (Tired As FCUK).
Put your hand up if you are running on empty.
Our brains consume a substantial part of our energy on a daily basis. Conservative estimates are that our brains use 20-30% of our energy. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I believe our brains have been in overdrive for the past-long-wee-while and have likely been consuming A Whole Lot More Than That. My guesstimate it's been more like 40-60% consumption when you factor in the confluence of issues coming at us in the media, general anxiety, and the level of change we have all had to absorb. That's all before looking at the impact of your day job.
We all need to pause. We need to give ourselves permission to stop. We need to give others permission to stop.
Accordingly, this is my prescription, regardless of your health status:
1. Two days (S/S) of absolutely NOTHING. Set yourself up for two days of literal bed rest. Order or make some good food and just lay flat and sleep+read+StreamYourHeartOut.
2. One workweek (M-F) of minimal work. I did two half-day board calls and otherwise cancelled all my meetings and spent time cleaning up my inbox. Overall, I worked at about 20% which should be your goal. I did all this from bed as I was sick...I will also allow doing this work on your couch or from a desert island. Please don't set-up-shop in your home office as that will defeat the purpose.
3. Two days (S/S) of supportive activities. Book yourself in for a retreat or retreat at home. Daily yoga/walks/light exercise, making nourishing food (make extra and freeze it), maybe tidy out a cupboard or three (as that is joyful), meditate, light gardening, some inspiring movies/music/podcasts and reading.
4. This is the hard part. For the following two weeks you need to organize your life to be lighter than usual. I want you working at about 80%. No multi-tasking. No getting caught up in drama. No coffee meetings or dinners out. No late nights. Figure out what you absolutely must get done then, quietly and calmly, get that work done. Add in a little meditation and light exercise. Keep eating well. This is a critical time to lock in the benefits of the prior week and start to rebuild your stamina.
I know this sounds hard. I am not going to list out the amount of drama and workload in my life the last two weeks, but rest assured it's actually one of the busiest periods of my year. There are a lot of additional responsibilities on me at the moment. I have still worked really hard to operate (well) at 80%.
If we don't pay attention when the warning light comes on, we do permanent damage. It's time for us all to take ourselves into the shop and get some maintenance done.
Doctor's Orders!
NOT A BUG?
PhotoCredit: BugsLife
I'm going out on an edge today. A razor's edge. Two in fact: Hanlon's and Occam’s. You have likely heard of Hanlon's Razor which offers that we should "never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." Occam's Razor proffers that "Among competing hypotheses, the one with the fewest assumptions should be selected."
In philosophy, a razor works like a real blade and helps us to shave off excess. In many respects they operate as safety razor's, stopping us from doing harm.
Hanlon's Razor is the most obvious mental safety device. I was taught to receive all communications with positive intent front of mind. Email especially, which is very prone to being either poorly written or hastily read. Negative intent oozes from the pores of email. The potential for career damage from a misunderstood email is very great.
Occam's Razor is a maxim that helps reduce excessive cognitive expenditure. I'm not sure if the KISS rule (Keep It Simple, Stupid) originated from Occam's Razor but it's easy to see probable origins. Essentially Occam's Razor tells us to choose the simpler explanation or follow the simpler path over the more complex.
As mental models, both of these are extremely useful as base assumptions. They counteract our seemingly deep human capacity to make up stories and complicate matters. How many times have you been angry at someone who "cut's you off in traffic intentionally" when most likely the driver was oblivious? How often have you completely misunderstood an email! How many hours, days and weeks have you fretted over a decision and failed to act?
Practice Hanlon's Razor next time you feel your blood pressure rising as you read a missive from one of your less favorite colleagues. Practice Occam's Razor when you realize you are obsessing over how to start a project or make a decision. Pick the simpler place to start, you can always add complexity if required. Excessive mental deliberation is a bug not a feature.
RELENTLESS
PhotoCredit: ClockingOut
I have talked previously about my inner White Rabbit. My always-on sense of urgency. An inner clock that ticks loudly, telling me that I am behind. I must work harder. I must work faster. I'm late!
Shifting this is hard. It's an in-built mechanism that likely evolved early in my life and is supported by just about everything in our modern world. The inevitability of being behind in an ever-expanding and relentlessly changing universe. We cannot possibly read enough, have enough meetings, attend enough lunches/dinners, be fast enough on email/text/slack and we definitely cannot ever be cool enough on social media.
There are some excellent counterpoints. Cal Newport is a personal favorite. Newport's concept of Slow Productivity is especially appealing to me. But he and his kind are a rare breed. Lone vegetarian wolves in a forest of white rabbits. If you have dealt with rabbits you know they will destroy the habitat and starve the wolves out. Ok, so I stretched a little to make that metaphor work.
Lately I am not enjoying Fast Productivity at all. I feel I am hyperventilating my way through life. It's not fun and I also don't think it's effective. So, I decided to embrace Graceful Productivity.
In a nutshell this means a couple of things. First, I always embrace the rocks, pebbles and sand methodology from Steven Covey. I did a fun video tutorial on this if you need a refresh. I create my list the night before and I stick to it. But life happens and we need to be able to shift gears. Items of the pebble variety can easy-peasy transfer over to the following day. Some items can be delegated or even outsourced. This is the graceful element. When we are hyperventilating our way through the day, we miss the obvious. When we are present, graceful, we see opportunities to move things around and frankly be more efficient.
Essentially, it's not all or nothing. We don't need to be in either the Deep Focus/Slow Productivity Cal Newport world OR the frenetic 'Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook' world of Gary Vaynerchuk. Give yourself permission to find your own pace. Manage your energy and you will manage your time.
MUCHNESS
PhotoCredit: MuchOfA
Depending on your global placement it's either summer solstice or winter equinox. AKA the middle of the year. It's time to dust off your goals for 2022.
It doesn't matter whether you are on track or wildly off track. This is no time for a pity party or an early celebration. Regardless of your progress, I want to you embrace abundant thinking and supersize your ambition.
There are times to be big and times to be small. Now is the time to be big. The more constricted you feel, the more important it is to take up space. Fortune favors the bold. Always - and especially in a challenging market.
What would it look like if you doubled your ambition for the year. More revenues for your company, a much bigger promotion, triple the sales, quadruple your pipeline, quintuple your audience. What would exponential growth look like?
Does it scare you a little? Good!
Get ambitious. Write down the new audacious goal. Declare it. Then figure out the one thing you need to do to start it in motion. One action you can start this week.
Embrace your muchness...your greatness knows no bounds.
MOOD RING
PhotoCredit: StayCool
Last week felt like a segue. I spent a lot of April talking about the cognitive shift required to commence a new squiggle. There is a lot more to say about that. However, it gets a little navel-gazey at a point. Which feels deeply philosophical and academically interesting. It's also not the best way to start. The best way to start is to...wait for it...start.
We want to get into action and stay in action. Momentum is the secret to squiggling and many of last week's tips were focussed on staying in motion. #gather_no_moss.
Curiously though, once you start it feels like everything is conspiring against you. Issues pile on top of problems and you quickly find yourself very stuck.
Squiggling is seemingly an endless process of unsticking yourself. The art of creation requires many bad batches and endless prototypes. James Dyson rather famously, and proudly, states that it took 5,127 attempts at the Dyson vacuum to get it right. Even that wasn't a guarantee. The real battle for his life - and vision - happened when he went to commercialize what is now a household name and icon.
We can turn this into a cliche about failure, but lurking behind that is the very real human-ness of the equation. How we feel.
Unless you are a robot, failure takes a massive mental toll. We add that to an already lonely journey and the result is a cocktail that you wouldn't want to drink - despair.
Much like potato chips, we want to keep the ingredients for this cocktail out of the pantry. Which is where Andrew Huberman comes in. You may know of him already. He's become a legend in the world of peak performance. In this beauty of a podcast, Rich Roll (my first podcast love) goes deep with Huberman on how we can get out of our own way. It's long AF, but you know I wouldn't recommend it if I didn't think it was magic. It's full of inspiration and deep, usable science that will help you move through the stuckness. Or maybe bypass it completely.
Rich Roll says it best with his mantra "mood follows action." Stay oriented to action and your mood will take care of itself. True Story.
LETTING GO
PhotoCredit: BackAndForth
As kids we learn to pump our legs back and forth to slowly gather momentum on a swing. Almost like magic we start to move. In no time we are soaring.
Life can be that simple. Not always but more often than you think.
Sometimes it's all in the technique. Here are some things that have helped me:
- Grow and nourish your network. This is your greatest asset, we all need people cheering in our corner.
- Find people who are interested in what you are doing and ask them millions of questions. Don't always be in sales mode.
- Go to fewer conferences, they are rarely a source of deep connection.
- Don't ask people if they like your idea. It doesn't matter (unless they are investors!!).
- Do it because you HAVE to, not because you think it will make you rich. An unrelenting desire to build something new will take you a lot further than a deep desire for cash-ola.
- Ask for money and you will get advice. Ask for advice and you will get money. Mostly because the advice-asking helps you build deeper connection, but it's also a softer sell so people are more likely to lean in.
- Do the thing you don't want to do. Hate building projections, build projections. Hate cold-calls and networking, do that. Hate pitching...you guessed it. I'm not saying this to be a hard-ass...it's just where you will likely find new sources of information and richness for what you are doing.
- Create a momentum to-do list of little things you can achieve to keep you moving. A lot of the time it can feel like you are doing doggy-paddle in the middle of the ocean. Knowing you have done something tangible will give you the sense you are making progress.
- Take time for yourself. Your mental and physical health are game-changers. Exercise, walk, meditate, dance. Anything daily. Preferably 30 minutes but I'll take 5 minutes of nose-breathing.
Shine Bright.
FREE AS
PhotoCredit: Bird'sEye
En Vogue is one of those forgotten groups that should never be forgotten. Their glorious 1992 hit "Free Your Mind" says everything. EVERYTHING. There is a treatise hidden behind every line in this song. It's a solid investment of 4.14 minutes of your today.
Free Your Mind.
And The Rest Will Follow.
It's easier said than done. One of the hardest parts of starting any squiggly adventure is stepping off. Stepping into the great unknown. Be it teeny or "holy shit-balls I just quit my job", it's all the same squiggly step. The same scary squiggly step.
And before we make that step, we think we should know where we are going. We should have a grand vision. A destination at least. An idea of the future "us" that we want to be. Preferably in crystal clarity. Otherwise, well otherwise we are shifting from a place of certainty to the complete unknown. That doesn't seem especially smart?
It's smarter than you would think. In the linear modality we kid ourselves that we can plot a path to a predictable and known outcome. In the squiggly realm we understand that 'predictable and known' are illusory. They are visions of the ego that satiate us with concepts like comfort and safety. Telling us little white lies like "the paycheck is worth the misery". "You'll be happy once you can afford the house". "One more step and you'll be the boss, it will all be ok then".
The linear is controlled by the ego which doesn't want you to take risk. It's not that it doesn't want you to be happy, it's just that your ego is rather attached to your job title and doesn't quite know how to stabilize if you are <cough> unemployed.
Nothing will make you feel smaller than going to a dinner party and admitting you are between jobs.
The real truth is that you need to strut yourself down the en vogue runway in your fiercest 90's ensemble and declare yourself free. Free from what you were and free to decide who you want to be.
It's only when you let go of the vision of who you think you need to be that you will become who you MUST be.
Be expansive, be experimental and be larger than life.
Be open, be brave, be curious, be bold.
Above all, free your mind. The rest will follow.
PERFECTION
PhotoCredit: Scary
If you do nothing else today, go check out this awesome collection of Monster drawings. I have the best time finding images for my weekly musings. The links are always at the top of each post titled "Photo Credit".
The perfectionist monster that lurks in us all is much less cute than today's cover photo. Starting something new is seemingly the equivalent of feeding the monster after dark. Or getting it wet. I vaguely remember the Gremlin rules. The biggest thing that stands between you and your dreams is likely a perfectionist monster with the midnight munchies.
It makes sense. We dream up these elaborate ideas of future-us doing something really awesome and really well. In a flash we go from Paris Hilton's assistant* to being a mega-mogul household name that eclipses Paris's star (permanently it seems). All the hard stuff in between is overlooked. We get the big job, we leap straight to a million followers, we breeze through our classes as we retrain for that new career.
Then perfectionist monster paralyses you. It says no. Hold the phone. It's going to be way harder than that. It shines the light into the dark corners of that dream and shows you all the things that will be hard. All of the things that might go wrong.
So, best not to start right? Best to stay safe and not step out too far on the ledge.
Sure, that's one option. The other option is you do it anyway. You saw that coming right? You do it anyway because it's like this for everyone. It's never perfect. It's never linear. Not for anyone. Ever. My favorite example is Ryan ToysReview (now Ryan's World). At 10 years old, with over 32 million subscribers, over 50 billion views, earning a reported USD26Million from YouTube in 2019 - it's easy to see nothing but success. But the early videos were so rough and even the name of the channel wasn't grammatically correct. They clearly started with no idea what they were doing and they have slowly built up this success over 7 years. Mistake by mistake.
I could fill a book with other examples. I need to fill a book with examples. No one, I promise you, starts with a clue what the finish line will look like.
Just. Start. Celebrate your mistakes as you go. I know you can do it because plenty others just as capable as you have. Maybe even less capable. So why shouldn't you have your shot?
Dream boldly. Fail bravely. Laugh loudly.
START YOU UP
PhotoCredit: Unravel
After writing today's subheading 'Absolute Beginnings' I got super distracted listening to David Bowie. If you are seeking a six minute distraction, I really enjoyed this gem. I so love David Bowie and his voice is on full display in this BBC live performance.
Today is both a question for you and a nod to my focus for April. I have been inspired by a few people who are exploring new beginnings in their lives and have asked me how they should start? It's a lonely and scary process that is equally exciting, full of promise and loaded with ambition. Sweet and Sour - a winning combination when you get the balance right.
For those of you on that journey, or contemplating it: what are you struggling with, trying to optimize or keen to learn?
For those of you not on that journey, why not? Is there something in the back of your mind that might want to come out and play? Is there something in your life already that is a new beginning that you might be able to support more? A new opportunity to expand your role, your horizons or even just your thinking?
"The more things change the more they stay the same" is a troubling observation. Side note: this is a translation of “plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose“ from French writer Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr. In a world of constant and lately overwhelming change: are you evolving or are you stubbornly sticking to the habits and practices of your lifetime?
Perhaps it is time for your own new beginning?
EYE OF THE
PhotoCredit: RestingTigerFace
This week's image reminds me of our dog Winston. He is equal parts lap-dog and honey-badger. "Cuddles" involves teeth and hurling all 75 pounds (35kg) of himself "at" my lap. His aim is approximate. I have heightened proprioception for any vessel containing liquid in my vicinity; a cup of coffee is no match for his enthusiasm.
Winston was born in the year of the rat. 2020. No wonder the poor dog needs constant reassurance while also having a keen survival instinct. Don't we all just need a hug and a punching bag? Rat's are cunning survivors; Ox's (2021) are tough; and 2022 brings us the courageous, assertive Tiger.
Things might be finally looking up?
Things are always looking up. Sometimes you just need to know where to look. Or more precisely how to look. Chinese New Year is a great example. You see a bunch of animals and red envelopes. I see opportunity. A brand new start to the year. An epic moment for recalibrating.
If January kicked your butt, or didn't quite start the year off as you planned, you get a do-over. January doesn't have to count in your final total. Keep what's working. Give yourself the points for that. Ignore the rest. Erase the rest. To quote my mentor in not-giving-a-shit "nobody saw you do it, they can't prove anything." - El Barto.
Take inspiration from Winston. Gnash your teeth and hurl yourself at the new year with boundless energy. You have given a lot of thought to what you want from this year. Seize today and make it count. Make it great. Do something for yourself and give it meaning. It begins today!
ALL FOR WHAT
PhotoCredit: CatchingDreams
There is a dreadful term "Failing Up" which describes a rather mediocre talent that has managed to survive their way to the top of an organization. They are not as good as their job title might imply. It's an imposter-syndrome worrier's worst nightmare.
Typically someone with imposter syndrome is going to be the last person who has failed up. Most people with imposter syndrome have succeeded. They have tackled some really complex problems, likely really struggled in the pursuit, and deserve to be at the top.
There are a lot of companies tackling a lot of hard problems at the moment. Hard problems in an ever-changing environment. Having any certainty about the correctness of your decisions feels impossible. It may, in fact, be impossible. So, I wonder, do those who have failed up have an equal chance at being right to those who succeeded up? Is being right for the wrong reasons something that might work in this environment?
From a probability standpoint this might hold true but, following on from the OODA conversation last week, there has never been a more critical time to "show your work." We need to know more than the right answer. We need to build up the logic and reasoning sitting under the conclusions we reach, knowing that we will likely not hit the bullseye on the first try.
And it occurs to me that it might feel personal. And we need to get over that. We need to find new ways to question the incredible work of our teams so they feel stretched but not stomped on. We also need to work on our reflexes so that we are not injured, inadvertently, in the quest for a gold star and a pat on the back.
Plain and simple, we might just feel from time to time that we did a massive amount of work for nothing. What was the point sweating the right decision? It might feel like just plain failing, no up in sight. The power, always in my view but especially now, is in the process. You are succeeding by doing the work, doing the analysis, coming to a conclusion. You don't need to be right for it to be a success.
The feedback, the questions - what feels like criticism - those are invaluable inputs. Explore, be curious, evolve your work. And then come right back and ask for more. Being right was never more wrong.
LEAP OF FAITH
PhotoCredit: Free Fall
I rather belatedly watched Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse over the weekend. It's fun, especially if you are at all inclined to the notion of alternate universe's. I don't spend much time thinking about other realities beyond this universe. That said, I believe we have infinite potential to create new realities in the here and now. Every moment of every day we are given permission to choose. The choices we make set us on course to a specific reality. Our lives are one big pick-a-path adventure story.
A key theme from Spider-Man is "With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility." Yes, we can apply this to saving the world from imploding into chaos at the hands of Kingpin. We can also apply this to the micro-decisions we make all day, every day. We can use our power of choice for good or for self-inflicted evil.
You may not like hearing this, but the simple reality is that everything that happens in our lives is, ultimately, our choice. Yes, shitty things happen. But we get to decide how we respond to those shitty things. Choice is our superpower.
Superpowers, it turns out, are curious things. It's not just about having them, we also need to believe in them. "It takes a leap of faith" says parallel universe Peter Parker to (super cool) newbie Spider-Man Miles Morales as he struggles to control his new awesomeness.
Obviously your superpowers will be applied a little differently. You will likely not, any time soon, swing your way from building to building through NYC. Regardless, we all have the capacity to do something pretty extraordinary if we take that same leap of faith.
Last week you wrote your list of superpowers in the form of I AM statements. So now it's time to leap. What are you going to do differently? What are you going to do the same? What needs to happen in your life, what choices do you need to make, to be that I AM person? Maybe you need to spend an hour a day doing cold-calls for your business? Maybe you need to go back to school; retrain? Maybe you need to get your butt out of bed earlier each day so you have time for exercise? Maybe you need to skip [insert your favorite method of time-wasting here] at night and get a little more sleep?
Make different choices. Become your very own Super-Human.
FULL BLAST
PhotoCredit: ThemeSong
There are two more weeks left in January. Permission to freak out. The year will be over before you realize it. This is the moment to get intentional. This is the moment to focus and decide. Who will I be this year? What will I do this year? What will I leave behind from last year?
Dig deep. Be ambitious. Get determined.
I am here for you every step of the way.
This year I will bring you more content. Still bite-sized nuggets. Never overwhelming. And hopefully non-prescriptive. My goal is not to tell you how I live my life but to give you thought-starters on how you might best live yours. Big, Brave and Bold. Nothing left behind except your discards. The stuff that isn't serving you and isn't propelling you forward to greatness.
It starts with being really damn clear about what isn't working for you in your life. My homework assignment for you is to sit down for five minutes and write it down. Empty your head. Get all the shame, judgement, frustration and pain on a piece of paper. Now, write a list of I AM statements that are powerful and shift those negatives into positive action. So if diet is on your "not working list" - write a statement about who you are going to be this year that doesn't have that issue. "I am obsessed with eating fresh, organic food that I cook for myself." Make them positive and as detailed as you like.
Write them down on a piece of paper that you can look at every day. And every day pick at least one to focus on. Just think of one small thing you can do each day to move something forward on that list. It could be tiny, it doesn't matter. If you do this every day this year - I guarantee you epic results.
You are amazing. Beyond words, beyond limitations and beyond your wildest imagination. Turn the volume up so everyone can see you shine.
YOU BETTER WORK
PhotoCredit: Henny
If you didn't watch at least three seasons of Ru Paul's Drag Race in the last two years, well, I think you wasted the pandemic. Nuff said.
Ru Paul came into my life in 1994 when she was the face for the very first Mac Cosmetics' Viva Glam. Anyone that knows me well knows that makeup has been a long time passion and Mac was the beating heart of that passion. Note to anyone in need of a Iippy, all the Viva Glam's are brilliant colors and 100% of the sale proceeds go to the Viva Glam Foundation.
Mac were pioneers in, well everything. From their charitable work. recycling program, digital presence and marketing more broadly. Oh, yeah, and the fact they used a Drag Queen as their "face" - long before most of us knew what a Drag Queen was.
And what a Drag Queen Ru Paul is. She is also a pioneer and has made household names of many young boys who dreamed of slaying. Many of whom struggled with identity and now can proudly be who they are. It makes my heart happy just thinking about it.
The biggest lesson one learns - from watching more Ru Paul episodes than they care to admit (ahem, all of them) - is to silence the inner critic and get out there and do your thing. She has a remarkable presence which exudes can-do and a beautiful "leave it all on the dance floor" spirit.
The second lesson that is never far behind is to WERK like you never werked before. She is the ultimate hustler, never misses a beat for self-promotion or to earn a dollar. When you spend as long at the bottom, and on the outskirts, as she did - you better bet you don't miss a payday.
I love and admire her hustle and her commercial acumen. I tend towards never missing a day in the office myself. I love to work, I love to be in the game and I find it hard to turn that off. I have KPI's and to-do lists for my holiday for goodness sake. I organize cupboards for relaxation. Quiet moment, what's the point?
Well, you and I both know there is a point. As we head into the hustle of 2022, my encouragement is for you to start thinking about how you can actively cultivate rest. Sleeping well is a great start. Planning quarterly 3-4 day mini breaks (triathlons are not mini-breaks). A day a week off screens is a brilliant practice. A daily walk, a weekly adventure, a morning dance party, a Friday picnic dinner. Apparently forest bathing is also a thing (I think it always was TBH). Anything that jerks you from the grind that can be the day.
Truly, if there was one goal or resolution I could put on your list, this would be it. You'll be amazed by the clarity it gives you. It will make you a better person and I'll put money on it making you better at your day-job. Or night job, as the case may be.
WHAT WILL BE
PhotoCredit: TheClimb
I'll never forget my first camping trip. How much fun it was and also how damn grateful I was to have running water once I returned home. It lasts a couple of days, and then, I'm back to taking my life for granted.
It's been almost two years of realizing we took a lot for granted. I never truly appreciated my yoga studio, coffee shop, shopping generally, feeling safe and travel. I certainly didn't appreciate how much it meant to be able to hug a friend without thinking twice about it.
Yesterday I had a new appreciation. My education. I was one of those people that loved school. Loved studying, learning, books and even stationery. It never occurred to me that I might have been fortunate to have that education. It never really occurred to me that I was lucky to have any education. I didn't really give it much thought. It was like running water to me. It was always there.
We know this is not true of all children. One of the charities we support donates bicycles to young women in Africa to help them traverse their long journeys to school. They are one of the smartest operations I know - and do incredible work: World Bicycle Relief. Another non-public charity we support provides safe schooling facilities in poor villages; the vulnerability of children as they attempt to get to school is horrifying. And yesterday I was moved to tears watching this Ted Talk about a young woman determined that Afghan girls get an education. I now support her charity SOLA.
My love of school has clearly had a bigger impact than I appreciated.
We all give in different ways. Maybe some of you will be moved to make a donation to World Bicycle Relief or SOLA. Maybe this will prompt you to donate to one of your favorite charities. Or maybe you will watch Shabana Basij-Rasikh's Ted Talk, please do, and be reminded that we all have mountains to climb. Some seem steeper than other's. Some are steeper than others. They are all scalable. Keep climbing.
"When you face the uncertainty of what might be - you can turn it into the certainty of what will be." - Shabana Basij-Rasikh
THE QUESTION
PhotoCredit: ChillALittle
I heard a quote last week that resonated really deeply. "If you live the questions, life will move you into the answers". It's one of those great Deepak Chopra quotes, which he states with utter conviction.
My first thought is how nicely this ties with the OODA loop process of problem solving. This satisfies my desire to ground all things woo-woo with science. It's also why I have a deep love of quantum mechanics which is, to my grasping-to-comprehend brain, the science of the unexplained. It's very convenient.
To be honest that was my second thought. My first thought was more of a reaction. Relief. I was at a point with a couple of things I was working on that, well, weren't working. So I sat back and thought about what questions I needed to think about. I allowed the process to get a bit more - how should I put this - squiggly!!
Yes team, I too fall victim to the linear. I too have moments where I expect there will be measured and progressive steps forward. It's an expectation that runs deep. And it's an expectation that will drive you to obvious answers that are uncompetitive, unoriginal and highly predictable. The opposite of future-proof and innovative.
Future-proof, innovative solutions lie in the realm of asking questions. Staying curious. Pushing the boundaries. Getting frustrated and lost and stuck all go with the territory. It's a natural part of the process to feel a little hopeless in pursuit of your outsized ambition.
Which is where the combination of spiritual and scientific becomes super powerful. Sitting in faith while facing the data that you are not there yet. Seeking more information to fuel better questions to support your quest for the answer. Knowing you will get there. Being ok with not knowing how long it will take. Or how many losses you will absorb along the way. And knowing that each loss allows you to calibrate your work and move forward better, stronger and more course correct.
So this week think about what you are stuck on. Then ask yourself what is the question? What is the problem that you need to solve? Then ask yourself, how can I live this question? To me I instinctively reach for knowledge: so, I read books, talk to smart people and I go for walks to let my brain run free on the problem. What is your toolset? How do you live the question?
GOOD WITH THE BAD
PhotoCredit: Sleepy
My first ever binge-watching session was Season One of The Office (British). It was very pre-Netflix...I had borrowed the DVD set and popped those disc's like Pringles. Life was busy. Work was insane. Bingeing was an indulgent escapism and I loved every minute of it.
Best of all it was free. Literally free and, bonus, calorie and alcohol free. Not really though, right? We have all felt the binge-hangover. Screen time surely playing a part, inactivity playing a part and I have always felt there was something else going on too. There is an inexplicable exhaustion that seems to come from watching television, despite how relaxing it seems in the moment.
I'm not a scientist - and I don't play one on TV - but I did a little online digging to see what the internet thought. It seems that when we zone out watching shows we do "relax", as our brain waves switch from beta (critical thinking) to alpha (daydreaming and rest). Alpha waves are also what we generate when we meditate. That seems like a step in the right direction. So what's up?
Personally, I find I have to watch something quite brainless otherwise I can't tune out. My brain starts trying to spot continuity issues or have deep philosophical thoughts about the devolution of modern society. OK, probably not that deep, but it occurs to me that this might be the issue. I'm not sustaining any prolonged state of alpha so, while in theory I am turning my brain off, it's not really rest. In the same way, I think this is why people struggle with meditation in the beginner stage; the constant interference from one's brain is beyond frustrating. Trying not to think is damn hard work.
Binge-watching through the pandemic has been needed escapism. Escapism and also a sense of connection. I have noticed I am drawn to shows that feature my favorite international cities. Almost hanging out for the street scenes and hunting for places I recognize. I'm honestly not sure if that is a good thing or not. Psychologically, is that making me lament the new-normal or connecting me to happy memories?
My conclusion is that it's a mixed bag. Indulge and escape into other worlds. Just know it's not likely rest-ful. The best advice I stumbled across was to watch as much TV as you do exercise in a given day. I like the idea of looking for balance in the equation. The good with the "bad". And lord knows we all need a few treats these days. Deprivation has no place in a pandemic.
TRADE OFF
PhotoCredit: NeverSleep
When I moved to New York I learned the lesson of the trade off. You can have a view, if you live In the cultural dead-zone. You can be in the heart of everything awesome, if you don't mind a closet for an apartment. You can live close to the museums with no (decent) supermarkets, or in the gallery district with distant subway access (and no supermarkets).
Trade Offs. Sigh. I had to choose. Perfect didn't exist. It became about what was most important to me.
I ultimately chose culture and quiet with some good restaurants over view, subway and supermarkets. In case you were wondering.
"Life is like a box of chocolates." Well, maybe. I think life is a series of trade offs. We need to choose what we want the most, and focus on that, dispensing with the false premise that we can have it all.
And I say this not from a place of deprivation but from the perspective of deciding where I will place my energy and focus. There are only so many things we can achieve well. As Cal Newport (I think it was him) says "If you can't say no, you need a bigger yes."
What is your BIG yes?
Maybe this week you can have a look at that master to-do list, or your goals for the year, or your personal wish list - and remove a few things. Be brave even and cut it in half?
It's helpful to take a few things off the list. Even if just for the next six months. Give yourself a break, allow yourself to focus. Make the trade off.
AUTOMATE
PhotoCredit: BoredPanda
I fell in love with robots in 1986. Conjuring feelings that would lay dormant till WALL-E; I remember the exact moment. A moment of complete movie schmaltz. We thought all hope was lost. Our tears turn to joy. We are reunited with the possibly sentient hunk-of-junk that we thought was a goner. Number 5 is ALIVE people. Number 5 is alive!
My relationship with robots has since become a little more complicated. I grow tired of waiting for Rosie to relieve me of all my household chores. My relationship with my robo-vac(s!) has led to deep disillusionment that even the simple tasks in my life might be robo-sourced. The list of things that the 80's failed to deliver on grows ever longer. We expected flying cars, (working) hoverboards and robot friends. All we got were streets littered with scooters and iPhones. Though to be fair, one of the two I can't live without.
Rumors of their (robot) death is greatly exaggerated. They are alive and kicking inside fancy warehouses in Boston (click that link, the video is short and amazing) and anywhere Amazon has acquired real-estate. It's just we - mere peasants - can't afford them for laundry folding purposes. We can't afford that, no, but there are many ways we can use robots, AKA automation, in our life.
Yes, there was a point to this rant! Below are some of my favorite automated-ish (I took some liberties) shortcuts I use in my life. For those of you who are more advanced, please send me any I have missed. Or instead just go check out all the awesome robot drawings from the dude who drew the cover picture this week. He ROCKS.
GOOGLE: I use CHROME as my browser on all my devices and log-in to my google account on all of them. It allows many awesome features including copying on one device and pasting that copied text into another. A small feature that I use multiple times a day.
IPHONE: The Sleep|WakeUp feature allows you to set a morning alarm that then tells you what time to go to sleep to get your desired sleep quantity. Plus, the morning alarm options are epic and don't feel like someone has just slapped you across the face. I use "birdsong" for my happy morning greeting.
BOOKMARKS BAR: When I first discovered bookmarks I bookmarked everything. And of course never went back to any of the sites. I now only use the bookmarks bar for the top 10 things I need at my fingertips. I probably have links to 6-7 practical tabs and then 3 or so that I would categorize as "frivolous but necessary". It changes as I find something new and cool I want to enjoy. Right now I am enjoying CFDA.com and worldometers.info.
LASTPASS: Lastpass.com. It saves all my passwords. SecureAF.
INSTAPAPER: I think I have mentioned this before. I save all the articles I want to read here and then, as I want to keep them, log them in folders of areas of interest. It's like a new and improved way of bookmarks and has saved me a number of times when I have forgotten my source.
SUBSCRIBE AND SAVE: Coffee, Pet Food, Post It notes. Anything I need a regular supply, I hit the subscribe and save button. Sure, you can tell yourself you are making smart financial decisions but, even better, the stuff you can't live without turns up on your doorstep like magic. And always just before you run out.
TRELLO: I run my life in this. Any tool works, the point is to have one place where you store anything and everything you need to do in your life. It's bursting with power-ups too. Most I don't use but I love to know they are there for me. The kanban-ish board system is especially brilliant as you can have a series of lists and one immediate "to do this week" list. Helps guard against drowning in overwhelm!
GRAMMARLY.COM: I personally do not use this but many of my peeps love it. I much prefer to use spell check and make up my own grammar. Stop being polite, we all know this is the truth.
GOOGLE SHEETS: Mark resisted this recommendation for the first 10 years of our marriage. We are coming up on 13 years of marriage this month AND he's a solid couple of years into his love affair with google sheets. I think both relationships will be lasting. I might edge out google sheets, but only just. Other than being cloud based and easy to update from any device, it's collaboration/sharing feature is enough to make me swoon.
EXPENSES: Actually, I would love your POV on expense software. I used to use expensify but it wasn't as "smart" as it led me to believe. I now use Tiller which is excellent (syncs all banking and credit cards into one spreadsheet) and is super powerful. That's great for bookkeeping but I really want something to track my receipts that is designed for consumers.
Please do send me your favorite power-ups that automate your life. I would like to learn as, as I get enough, I will do a follow-up to this post. WIth more robot pictures.