Alice in Wonderland sits permanently on my desk. An ode to the curious. A reminder that things are often not as they seem.
Well over 100 years later, Lewis Carroll's offering feels potent. Alice climbs through a mirror into a world that works in reverse. Remind you of anything? In one exchange the Red Queen offers to Alice that "...it takes all the running you can do to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!"
Which side of the looking glass are we really on?
In a number of my roles I work in an advisory capacity. My job is to question the presumed reality. I am the one pointing at the dark clouds in the distance when everyone else is packing up the car to go to the beach. Smacking the Kool-Aid out of your hands and throwing water in your face! Nah, not really. I’m so much nicer than that. That would be how Gordon Ramsay would do what I do.
When I do my best work I put a mirror up for people. Not so much to see their reflection but to see another version of their reality. To see an alternate reality.
We are hard-wired to seek confirmation and validation. We really don’t want to hear that it might take longer, be harder, have more competitors, or cost more. How often is your goal infinitely more complicated; significantly harder than expected; riddled with obstacles; and exponentially slower than you expected? Whether a kitchen remodel, a strategic plan, a personal goal or some days just getting through your darn inbox!
Our brain loves shortcuts. We are oriented to the positive and the simplistic. We hear what we want to hear and see what we want to see. “I’m sure no one really notices that I come in late every day.” “My clothes must be shrinking in the wash.” “He really loves me he’s just bad at remembering the things that are important to me.” Who doesn’t love a little delusion?
We need to stop drinking the Kool-Aid and put the delusion cupcake down.
To do this for yourself, the most useful process I have found is seeking disconfirming evidence. This is an active practice of looking to prove your hypothesis wrong rather than looking to validate your theory. It’s not a heck more complicated than that. Although, it is, because it requires you to question your own judgment. Spoiler-alert, your ego likes to think it has all the answers.
This world is already way more fiction than fact. Get grounded in reality by seeking answers from inquiry. Get Alice-Level curious about what you don’t know. Challenge your world view. Look for the stuff that makes you a little uncomfortable. Seek the information that runs counter to your plans.