EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS

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I have a very strong “grrrrr” reflex. It automatically fires in many situations and results in knee-jerk and combative responses. Who me? I know, I seem so lovely. 

It’s completely ineffective as it creates a mostly defensive reaction from the other person. Oh, and did I mention the fact that most of the time it’s quite clear the pissing me off thing was not intentional?

So recently, instead of my usual over-reaction, I tried something new. I asked myself “how else could I deal with this?” 

I am not about to tell you it worked like a charm. I deal in reality. Reality dictates iteration over certainty. Slowly working your way to a place of transformation versus “you shall go to the ball” insta-results. Results of the ‘it will not happen overnight, but it will happen’ variety. 

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Evidently it was not Einstein that said this, though it sounds like something he would have surmised. A scientist knows better than to repeat a test under the same conditions and expect an altered outcome. 

It is an insanity to repeat a behavior in the expectation of a different result. So why is it so damn hard to break the circuit?

Simply put, it takes effort to undo any neural patterning. Our brain is wired for efficiency and it will take the shortest route. Always. We are designed to react. We need to learn to respond. 

The wisdom of responding (preferably thoughtfully and in full observation of the ‘count to ten’ rule) is undeniable. We need to create space. To pause. The pause enables us to respond rather than react. Reacting - as I have said before - is what you do when you encounter lions and tigers and bears. Oh my! Evolved humans respond. Except for when facing said tigers, bears and lions.

The face-palm of it all is that our busy-ness is actually making us busier. Without the space to try a different solution to a problem we find ourselves caught in a cycle of pattern repetition.  Patterns that are destined for failure. How is THAT for a definition of insanity? It’s like the Russian Dolls of productivity. Our busy-ness makes us repeat unproductive patterns that result in making us even busier.

The icing on the neurological cake is the concept of synaptic pruning. It’s such a cool term which essentially suggests that the less you use the old pathways (AKA the non-effective behaviors) the more likely the brain is to eliminate these pathways entirely. Well, according to this one article I read online but it makes complete sense. The brain can be brilliant, if you let it.

Making the time - and finding the energy - to create new patterns and behaviors not only increases the chances of hopefully better results but it also helps us remove the repeated patterns that are not benefiting us. 

It’s not magic. But it could be. Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo!

BLINDED BY SCIENCE

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I am fascinated by the process inherent in science. It's so organized and yet so chaotic. On the one hand you have neat arrays of test-tubes, the beautiful clarity of the periodic table and sexy white lab coats. On the other hand you have the repetition of experiments gone wrong and the drama of funding crises. And those lab coats don't stay white for long.

From my non-linear perspective science is inherently squiggly. Full to bursting with possibility, intuition, failure and doubt: the great stories in the science field are epic quests that find glory only after considerable failure.

And Marie Curie's story is no exception. In fact it's exceptional. A pioneer in the field of radioactivity, she discovered two new chemical elements: polonium and radium. She also carried out the first research into the treatment of tumors with radiation.

She was the first woman ever awarded a Nobel prize. She was awarded a second Nobel prize in 1911. She is the only woman to be honored with two Nobel prizes. She is the only person awarded a Nobel prize in two different scientific fields (Physics then Chemistry).

She was doubted by her peers. She was initially not recognized for her work. She struggled to get financing for her research. Even when the work was laborious, prolonged and, as it would later be discovered, deadly. At every step, she was undeterred from her instincts. 

But wait, there's more.

Marie Curie later worked near battlefields with her daughter, Irène Curie, using radiology medical units to X-ray wounded soldiers in WW1. These units supported the medical treatment over approximately 1 million soldiers over the course of the war. Irène Joliot-Curie, was subsequently awarded a Nobel prize in 1935 for her discovery of artificial radioactivity.

Marie Curie accomplished most of her work solo after her husband was killed when he was run down by a carriage. I mean you can’t make this stuff up. She suffered adversity throughout her life. Her curiosity and immense capability immunized her from the notion of defeat. Her love of science was a greater force than the weight of any obstacle.

She captured the power of curiosity so perfectly saying, "Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less."

I love stories like this. Fear is no match for a curious mind. Defeat is not possible when you are relentless in pursuit of your life's mission. 

STATUS

I love testing new products and services but on the whole I am pretty loyal. So I stick with the brands I love while also dabbling in alternatives. Flying is one of the most interesting and controversial tests of loyalty.

Everyone has an opinion about which airline is best and everyone - especially business travelers - will tell you their opinion. In great detail. When you are traveling long-haul for business it's often the little details that add up to a big impact. And it's often the little things that can overcome a big thing too.

As someone who travels to New Zealand frequently I have status on Air New Zealand and they treat me well. When it comes to US travel the ballgame changes dramatically as I have never managed to stick with one airline.

I’m always searching. United was the obvious choice - they are a Star Alliance partner of Air New Zealand, but they always ended up making that so much harder than it needed to be. So I started trying other airlines. I like JetBlue and American is starting to do some great things - so I mostly fly with them.

But my curiosity got the better of me and I recently tested Alaska Airlines. I clearly got unlucky after a mechanical issue left me with a 6.5 hour delay, I get it - it happens. It wasn't so much the big delay, it was all the little things they got entirely wrong in the process. A little pebble in your shoes can quickly cause a big blister.

I prefer to treat things with positivity so I sent them a very detailed response to their customer survey. I told them about the little things. I mistakenly thought they might actually want to hear from their customers when they asked for our opinion.

Silly me.

You know my perspective - every problem is an opportunity in disguise. If I ever have an issue with Air New Zealand, they always work through it and come up with a solution. The problems become an opportunity for them to improve their service and frankly to enhance my trust in them.

The same goes for any issue you encounter. Whether the customer has status or doesn’t - you have a chance when something goes wrong to make it right and deepen your relationship with that person or organization. Yes, take care of your good customers but take equal care of your smaller customers.

Little customers can become big customers just like little problems can become big problems. Why limit yourself?

And your customer might be your boss, your landlord or even your kid. When something goes wrong, you have an opportunity to own that issue and use the failure as a way to deepen your relationship.

The companies, and the people, that will win in the future will be those that care. Those that take the time to understand the human experience and cater their product or service to human needs. Customer service should be at the centre of all you do.

BRICK WALLING IT

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No news is good news. If I haven’t heard from someone in a while I know all is going well. Then boom, I get an email or a text. Shit got real, life happened, it’s brick wall time. And just when I think I have heard it all: the issues get gnarlier and the brick walls more impassable.

As I have said before, I look for the opportunity in every problem...but no entrepreneur wants to hear that when they have been knocked back in the mud.

The first thing I do is break the problem into pieces. The smaller the better. The worst thing you can do is make an issue bigger than it really is by bundling all the component parts into one big, insolvable ball.

The second thing I do, which sometimes needs to be the first thing I do, is to get perspective on the problem. It’s very easy to feel like a blip in the radar is a fatal blow. I told my husband VERY early in our relationship that “calm down” is about the worst thing you can ever say to someone. He now asks if I want a cup of tea. Obviously I’m not going to suggest either of those to an entrepreneur who has just learned their funding round has collapsed or one of their employees is stealing from them. No joke. But it’s critical to step back from the situation and assess the gravity of the problem. Knee jerk reactions are for bears, mountain lions and snakes. In those moments you should react. Business issues require a non-emotional response.

The third thing I do is walk through the available resources to deal with each of the issues? This is a great time to tap into your network. Think about who might have experienced similar issues; who might have seen these issues play out in other companies; and who might be able to help you through it. This could be anyone from your lawyer to your mentor to a fellow entrepreneur or business person. I like to think broadly when it comes to experience: the commonality across businesses when you get down to the basics is extraordinary. Every business has had IP issues, employee issues, scale issues, legal issues and personal fatigue issues. ‘A problem shared is a problem halved’, true story. It will take a little time but mining your contacts for help will give you invaluable insight into ways you can approach the issue.

The final step is creating your actions steps. I know, I am obsessed with actions but by getting productive on the issue you will put the solution in motion. Against every one of the smaller problem pieces you identified, create one or two actions. Then carve out time in your week to getting that stuff moving. The worst thing you can do with a problem is sweep it into that messy corner of your office where it will fester.

Making time is critical. You don’t want to over-invest in the issue - it will distract you from your business - but you also don’t want to under-resource it. I would create a couple of pockets of time a week to sit down, assess what is in process, see what other actions you need to take and do anything you need to do to solve the problem. Then put it away and get back to your business. Even if it’s a funding crisis; spending all your time chasing investors and re-hashing your pitch deck can be frenetic, distractive and wasted work. Your goal in all of this is to keep the true goal-post in focus. That goal is your business.

The problems will come and go. The size of your problems are just an indication of the size of your business. As you and your business grow, the question is not whether you have problems but how you solve them.

THE OPPORTUNITY IN THE PROBLEM

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You fall down as a kid, you look around to see if anyone is watching. If they are not, well you get up and start doing whatever you were doing before. As an adult, you freeze, concerned that you might fall down and someone might be watching.

Brene Brown talks about the importance of having “the courage to be imperfect”. In her 2010 Tedx talk she references how earth shattering it was to learn that you cannot control and predict your way to a great life. That life is messy. That a great life is messy.

Sure, fine. Sounds great in a TedTalk. Not so great when you are chasing a deadline and start to feel like you are never going to get there. Not so great when you are busting your butt trying to find a new job and every twist and turn feels like a no. Not so great when you know you have to start a project, and you really want to start the project, but that voice in your head is on a loop of “you are not good enough, you will never pull this off”.

In his Commencement Address at Merrimack College, Charlie Day (creator and actor in the off-the-wall show It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia) talks about the mess of his success. He talks about the panic that came over him as prepared his address to his alma mater. “Yes”, he says, “I can be worried about all these things going wrong”. But, he declares in a way only Charlie Day can, “I don’t give a shit”. He continues, “You cannot let a fear of failure stop you from doing what’s going to make you great. You cannot succeed without this risk of failure.”

Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid and you make bad decisions. Everyone makes stupid decisions. We go to the beach instead of working, we waste hours researching instead of writing the paper, we spend too much time applying to jobs online instead of using our networks.

Life is messy and as a very smart person once told me “there are no facts about the future”. Trying to make it otherwise is a futile waste of your time and energy.

Your job in these moments is not to focus on the problem but instead look for the opportunity. You are behind or lost or maybe even jobless - what is the one thing you can do to start moving forward? What is the one thing you can do to broaden the scope of the immediate issue and find a solution in a different realm.

Decide you don’t give a shit! What would you do if no one was watching and you knew you couldn’t fail?

DO THAT!